Ria+Bhatia

<> Ria Bhatia 12/6/10 Period 1

** Chapters of Milan **

** Perfect ** My life was perfect, from Mom and Dad all the way to school and friends, everything fit into its right place. The only child of two lovable parents, who constantly got all A’s, and had the greatest support from unforgettable friends, was me. Some may say their lives are a puzzle, and so was mine, except every miniature piece fit perfectly into place. Every tiny aspect of things went completely the way I wanted to. I assumed I was naturally born lucky. Until an unexpected visitor arrived- in my mother’s stomach! At first I had no clue even after the obvious clues my parents pelted at me. “Do you feel lonely at times Ria?” “How would you like to have a family like Neil’s with four people?” So oblivious I had been at the time, that when it hit me, I felt as if I had been bombarded with a million bowling balls straight to my heart. What a fool I had been then.

** Mom **

Shopping, talking, laughing, crying- these were a mere amount of activities my mother and I constantly enjoyed with each other. I was tremendously attached to her, as she was to me. Through thick and thin she supported me while I supported her. Past fights with boys in my elementary years or the occasional brawl with my cousins, all the way to battles between my mother and father over the tiniest things, that some may never imagine. But it was too late that I found out that this once unbreakable relationship would not survive, due to an unexpected opponent.

“Ria! Where are you?” My mother bellowed from the bottom of the staircase. Bombarding down what was left of the steps, since I practically skipped all of them, I threw myself into my mother’s open arms. She ruffled my hair, and placed me gingerly on the floor, holding my hand as she bent down on her knees. Staring deep into my eyes, I knew something was going on, for my optimistic mother, seemed to almost never be serious. “Ria, how would you like to have a little brother of your own?” My mother quickly burst out. My eyes wandered as I flew out of reality and landed in deep thoughts. I stared at her eager eyes, waiting for a reply. Taking a deep breath, I didn’t realize that my answer would end up changing my life.

** Puke **

“Ugh! Ugh!” As she brought water to the table for my father, Mom began feverishly coughing. The glass slipped out of her hand and shattered into what seemed like a million pieces scattering in less than five seconds. “Dipti!” My father cried. He shoved his chair past the table and dashed towards my mother. She went from coughing to choking. He hovered over her pale and sweating face. Immediately mother darted past my dad and swerved around the hall to the bathroom. Hearing a petrifying sound, I realized she was throwing up in the toilet. As my father dashed behind her, chills crept up my back. Slowly, I tiptoed to the door, and peered inside. My eyes were stunned and horrified at what they had just seen. Dad was holding my mom’s hair and she leaned into the toilet bowl. Before anyone could see me, I glided the stairs and entered my room, followed by an hour of weeping. // What just happened down there? // I thought to myself under my tears.// Did I do something? Does she have to go to get shots? // Thoughts happy and sad buzzed through my head moments before I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

** The Doctor **

“Promise you’ll bring me back a lollipop?” I exclaimed at my parents as they headed for the door. “Yes. Yes. A pink one for my princess,” my dad replied, for I had asked the same question constantly for the past three hours. Both my parents gave me a tight embrace before letting me skip towards my aunt Shama. Shama ensured my parents I would be okay with her as they shuffled out into the outside. My aunt Shama was young, in her twenties, and totally cool. I looked up to her, hoping that one day I could be as kind, caring, and helpful as she is. Beaming down at me, Shama grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Is she going to be okay?” I choked behind tears, filling up in my eyes. “Awww, everything’s going to be just fine.” Shama, whispered back to me, stunned at my grief. “Let’s go out!” Shama bellowed, proud of her idea.

She led me to the door, and gently wrapped me in my coat, boots, gloves, and scarf. I smiled weakly piecing myself back together. Climbing into her Mercedes Benz, I wondered where we were headed, but eventually decided that I would leave it in suspense. Listening to Shama’s problems, and the low tune of 92.3 FM, I gazed out of the window as clear as can be. Conclusively we arrived at a familiar large building. // Menlo Park Mall! I wonder what we’re going to do here. //I thought anxiously.

“I thought you might need a distraction from all the depressing things going on at home.” Shama pondered as we climbed out of the car and headed for the entrance of Macy’s. I grinned at her, thinking of how Shama brought a miracle. I did deserve something enjoyable from my crazed family. A built in heater blasted warmth that quickly spreaded through my body and in between my toes as we entered the mall. By the time we were at our second store in Banana Republic, my feet were aching, but I ignored the pain, for this was probably the most fun thing I had ever done. Shama really knew how to shop for she already had ten large bags, full of things all looking breathtaking on her. She had a certain charm to her body, graceful, yet strong. Beautiful hazel eyes, cherry red full lips, and curves exactly where they should be. I wondered if I could be almost as beautiful as her when I was older. Store after store, we ended up in Abercrombie Kids, my favorite store. Shama’s beautiful hazel eyes suddenly became hawk daggers scanning the store for her prey. I felt as if the store had become my home, and the fitting room my bedroom. Using my manners I refused to let her to buy me anything. But could anyone argue with Shama? It would be a miracle to find someone who did so. Finally we were out of the mall, Shama with fifty bags, and me with a hundred. Shama had a strict diet, but after my constant pleading, we eventually went to Subway. Sharing a five- dollar foot long sub. I recaptured the memories of the long day, hoping to never lose them.

** Watermelons **

“Mom!” I screeched gasping my breath as I searched for reality. “What happened?” My mother exclaimed, chuckling at my innocence as she strolled towards me to glide her fingers through my black silky hair. I inched away from her as I stared at her stomach. // How had it gotten so big?” //I wondered, terrified at the thought of it exploding. Finally, I couldn’t resist the temptation of interrogating. I had lost my manners. “How did your stomach get so big?” I yelled at the top of my lungs. Mom glanced at me holding back a burst of laughter by biting over her bottom lip. “Did you go to McDonalds?” Shuddering at the dreaded memory of a few months ago. My older cousin Saagar was my role model, being extremely athletic as well as an AP student. I thought of him as an angel sent from God. “Did you know Ria, “ Saagar pondered, “That if you go to McDonalds and eat a mere French fry, you’ll blow up like a balloon? Terrified I shuddered wondering if he was telling the truth, but never daring to every try. // He’s always right! // I reminded myself calmly. I jumped back into reality “I swallowed a who watermelon.” Mom calmly whispered in a grin. “Even the seeds?” I questioned, pitying my mother greatly. “Mmm hmmmm.” She softly murmured. It took me about three years to ever eat a slice of water- melon again after that incident.

** Pain **

I felt as if someone had literally ripped my heart out. Every slight aspect of pain my mother received, turned into an explosion of pain-not only for me, but also for my father. The worst part was that I couldn’t do anything to help her. Constantly, I surveyed my mother, making sure I was at her side whenever she was in need. “Don’t worry Ria, it’s just a cough that’ll pass in no time.” I wondered whom she was talking to, for I new far more than she imagined and also that she may not survive this easily- or survive at all. Day and night my thoughts wandered from every point of view, my entire world had become diverse. Unfortunately my father was also enduring my mother’s pain alongside me. I felt bad for him since Mom always tried to pretend she was fine, though everyone knew she wasn’t. From this dreadful experience, I was lucky enough to learn one thing: I am never going to have a baby.

** The Ambulance **

“Ria. Ria.” Devi aunty gently stroked my hair as she tried to wake me up. “5 more minutes Mom!” I groaned as I stirred around. Bolting upright, I realized that it wasn’t my mother comforting me, but Devi aunty! Red lights blared around my home, making my room a disco party. I dashed over to my window- sill and thrashed my polka-dot curtains out of the way; Devi aunty slowly trailed behind. On a stretcher lay the fragile body of my mother, and pacing on the street with a cell-phone pressed against his ear was my frenzied father. Stepping back a few uncoordinated steps, I was baffled at what I had just seen. // Am I in a dream? // I tried to comprehend. // This isn’t possible, mom’s sleeping with dad in the room next door. //I assured myself. // But why was Devi aunty here? // My head spun in every direction as the blood drained from my face. Devi aunty crept up behind me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. Whipping around, I shoved past her, not wanting to believe what I was seeing.

“Ria!” Devi aunty darted after me and grabbed my arm. She glanced at my face and had a minor heart attack. Apparently, she was stunned at my overflowing tears and loss of self- confidence. Always there for me, Devi aunty dragged me into my room and rested my head cautiously on her lap. For what seemed like days that we talked through, I never felt so relieved.

** Dad **

In and out of the hospital, my father was extremely worried as you could tell with his petrified expression and constant pacing. The smallest stir or groan my mother made, would frighten my father as if he had seen a ghost, as the blood drained from his face. His bloodshot red eyes proved that my dad hadn’t slept and the occasional grumble from his stomach stated he hadn’t eaten. The first son of the family was about to be born. Who on earth would not be worried or anxious about that? I continued making the millionth card for my mother to hang on the walls of the hospital, ugly with peeling, dull green paint. I listened to the squeak of my dad’s shoes as he began pacing once again. I then sighed and glanced at my mother. She was sleeping soundly with the pale face of an angel.

** Elaine **

Glancing at the clock as I sat in the middle of the colorful play- room filled with a vast selection of toys from Barbie dolls to Chess, a tinge of nervousness crept up my spine as I sensed something was wrong. I stared into space, thinking hardly, pretending I was talking to an angel.// I always wanted a brother who I could lead and be a role- model for, but if that means I have to sacrifice my beloved mother, then I won’t allow a new addition to the family. //Elaine, the playroom advisor, strolled towards me. Her violent orange hair was hung in a long ponytail, and her bright hazel eyes matched her fashionable dress. “What’s going on Ria?” Looking deep into her eyes, I felt tears creeping up to meet my pupils. “I want my family to be normal again.” I whispered as I fought back the raid of tears. Collapsing into the nearby love seat, tears streaked my face when I realized I couldn’t endure the circumstances of my brother any longer.

** The Emergency Room **

“Thump! Thump! Thump!” My heart pounded wildly as my mother was rushed into the operating room. Glancing at the worried face of my father, we impatiently paced through my mother’s earlier room. I looked around as the nurse gathered the soiled dishes from our breakfast. Grabbing my doll, I looked at its porcelain face, and remembered when my mother had gifted it to me only a month ago. My eyes were tightly shut as I prayed that I got my mom back home okay and happy, with or without a new baby brother. The doctor motioned my dad to come along as the nurse dragged me to the playroom. Elaine began to pry me away from the door, and tried to make small talk. Whimpering in disgust, I stared at the sight of hideous, abused dolls. Pacing around for what seemed like forever, I thought about my baby brother for the first time. // What would he look like? Will he like me? Will he hate me? //I had no idea. The time went slowly, my mind accurately counting each second. Gaping at the clock, I realized it had only been about forty- five minutes when my aunt, Janie rushed into the room. She was searching with wide eyes full of excitement. Janie was the lion tracking her prey, me, to eat for dinner. Swiftly, she dashed to my side, thrust me up as if I was a feather, and darted out of the room as she nodded to Elaine. I bounced uncomfortably as my aunt dashed past the people bustling about the hospital, until we finally reached the operating room. There was my mother, smiling, and I was never so glad to see her. I followed her eyes to a miracle. Gasping, I stared blankly at the crawling sight. As I entered the Lysol infested, bright, green room, my eyes caught my mother’s pale face as white as a sheet. Quickly, I glanced at my father’s face beaming with pride and happiness. Looking deep into his chocolate brown eyes, I noticed that they were surrounded with tears of joy. I followed them to a young baby wrapped in a sky blue blanket. Suddenly, I realized what I was seeing and gasped. My father looked at me with large pupils that held so much happiness and whispered, “Ria say hello to your new baby brother, Milan.”

** Eagles ** “Whoosh!” A cold gust of wind violently blew in through the window my father slightly opened with a sigh of relief. We were on our way home from the hospital, and I grinned widely, for we had organized a surprise party for my mom and Milan with our beloved friends and family. “NOOOOO! What are you doing dad? An eagle can swoop in through the window and take the baby!” Snickering along with my uncle, my father shook his head and slowly closed the window. “I can guarantee she’ll make the perfect sister.” My uncle Matt chuckled. He and my father high-fived and laughed away. // Why do adults always think they’re so grown up? // I pouted. Picturing how many times adults have snickered or shaken their heads at me, I ended up with steam rising from my head.

** Jealousy **

As a child I always felt lonely. No pets. Not too many friends. And no siblings. Then I wished I could go back to those days. I stared at the bundle of annoyance as I secretly hoped I could throw it out the window. I felt invisible. // Sure! Just walk past me and to the baby, I don’t care! //My middle name had changed from adored to isolated. Never had I felt so lonely. The baby giggled and laughed, spitting out the baby food that my mother spoon- fed him. I had always wanted to be treated like an adult, but right then and there, I wished I could be spoon- fed by my mother cooing at me. Wondering, I remembered the magician at the circus, he might be able to change our family and forget Milan was ever born! Vigorously, I thought, until I dozed off into a humble sleep.

** Threat **

“Ding Dong!” The door- bell rang as the sound of excitement echoed past my ears. Skipping half of the steps from my room and down the stairs, I collided on to the floor. Piecing myself together, and fixing my every-which-way hair, I thrust open the door. “Hey Ria!” A tight, welcoming, embrace squeezed the breath out of me as Devi and Krishna gathered for a group hug. Recognizing the familiar voice, my mother leaped out of the sofa. She balanced Milan on her hip and strolled towards Devi and Krishna for a warm hug- that I had managed to sneak out of.

“So who is this cute baby?” Krishna teased, as we climbed up the stairs and sat onto the sofa. Devi slowly, and gently lifted Milan and placed him on her lap and cradled him. Milan’s chocolate brown eyes wandered towards her face. She stared and giggled at him with Krishna, while she touched the tip of his nose. Every day, when Devi would come home from work, I would go to her home and she would tell me I was her favorite kid in the world-since she had none. A pinch of worry awakened me when I wondered about our relationship. // What if Milan replaces me? //I thought restlessly. Milan wasn’t at all I had expected him to be; instead of a companion, he became a threat. ** Vomit **

I stroked the few, fragile hairs on the soft baby’s delicate head. Milan replied with a soft “Hee! Hee!” or giggle, that made me want to laugh out loud. His chocolate brown eyes wandered as they stared at my face with a weird interest. Suddenly his stomach made an unpleasant sound. “Ough! Ough!” Milan began violently coughing as a petrified expression spread across my face. // Oh my god! The baby’s dying! // I suddenly thought. Out of no where, Milan opened his mouth slightly and stopped coughing. I sighed with relief. Something slimy and white appeared in his tiny mouth. Spitting out the substance, I yelled, “Ewwww!” My mother laughed until she was rolling on the floor. Anger began boiling within me like a volcano ready to explode. Under the cuteness of a baby, was a hidden personality of disgusting.

** The Gift I Never Got ** “Hey everyone!” My aunt Chaaya happily strolled in from the large door, followed by pearl, white, fluttering snowflakes. Once again, she was dressed in an entirely new outfit from some brand name store, too expensive for me to have ever heard of. In her hand, was a large bag with suspenseful glitter tissue paper sticking out. Dancing with joy, my eyes were full of excitement as I darted towards her for a tight, welcoming hug. Her nimble and cold fingers stroked through a few strands of my silky, black hair. The gift was practically screeching at me to open it. She ruffled my hair and looked around. “Where’s the baby?” Chaaya asked curiously as she walked what seemed like miles away from me. It hit me like a million pound bowling ball straight towards my aching heart. Tears flooded my eyes as I shoved past her and dashed to my room. Slamming the door, I threw myself onto my pink, floral bed. // Why is everyone always behind the baby? //I thought miserably.// I feel like I don’t exist anymore. // Trying to be strong, I pieced myself together and wandered downstairs as if nothing had happened. “He’s adorable!” Chaaya exclaimed. “Well, I can’t leave you empty- handed Milan.” Chaaya grabbed my future gift and handed it to my mother. She began pulling it out when I finally couldn’t control my tears as I flew to my room.

** Homework **

“Waa! Waa!” Milan flustered in his crib, tears streaking his face. “Be quiet,” I muttered harshly under my gritted teeth. Trying to ignore him, I continued working on my times- table. My mother strolled towards him as she, “Thump!” patted his gently on his back while she held him. “Ria, will you do me a favor?” My mother sweetly began. Turning to glance at her with annoyance in my eyes, I hoped she would notice I was busy. Unfortunately, she didn’t. “Will you please get Milan’s favorite toy?” My mother regarded with pleading eyes. I thought about her rusty situation and realized she must be tired, so I obeyed. “Thump! Thump!” I stomped down the stairs, my eyes scanning the living room. Finally, I found my target. I strolled up the stairs and approached Milan, and handed him the rattle. // Not even a thank you. //I wondered steaming. I turned to walk away when, “Whack!” A sharp pain twisted in my arm as it evenly spread through my body within seconds. “Are you okay?” My mom questioned, holding back a burst of laughter. “No. Nothing is.” I silently replied as I slammed the door on my way out of the room.

** Acceptance **

Chocolate brown eyes, black, silky, fragile hair. A smile no one can resist. I recounted all these things in my head as I stared at what was my very own brother. He giggled softly as I grinned, taking the moment within me, for I know I may never have it again. I realize, though he may be seizing all the attention and gifts, as well as practically all my parents’ love, it isn’t his fault. Looking back at all my tears, fits, and jealousy, I now indicate that it wasn’t necessary. My parents need to give him attention, obviously because Milan is helpless. I listen to the family downstairs, partying with enjoyment along with friends. Milan has already fallen asleep. Then I question myself. // Why not enjoy the moments, become a part of this happiness, and accept my new life? //As I fixed my hair, and strolled down to the party, I knew that I have a lot of things to look forward to on my agenda. Someday, I would make sure that Milan knows what I had been through along with my mother and father to make him a new addition to the family, along with the fact that I love him too much. To this day, never have we fought tremendously like other siblings, instead we just cared for each other. To know Milan, is to be lucky, for he is one of the most sweetest, caring, trusting, and innocent person I know, and the brother I am very grateful to have.

-Ria Bhatia  Author's Note: December 24, 2002 was a day I will never forget, for it had changed my life. Throughout my mother's pregnancy and the few months of my brother's birth, I have learned many things. From knowing how to insert an injection to telling the difference of whether or not my brother needs a diaper change. I have had many spontaneous experiences during the time and many more after with my very own lovable brother. It really warms my heart to remember what he looked like as a baby, and thinking about what an amazing boy he turned out to be. When I was jealous of my brother, I used to wonder how to get rid of him, but now I literally can't live without him. I love my brother too much and know that her loves me the same. Grateful is what I am to have such a life.